The Joel Blog

True Story

2011-10-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

Letter Joel wrote and tied to a balloon and set sail on Sat. following the 'incident'.

"Hello, I'm Joel. I sent this letter because of what happened on 10/13/11. My friend just had a birthday and had balloons. On Thursday I tied 5 balloons to a small lil'kinz bunny named Little Timmy. I took him outside with a bunch of string tied together. I wrapped the string around my hand, then one of the knots just came undone. It took 30 seconds before I couldn't see Little Timmy."

An original joke - yes, he wrote it himself.

2010-10-29T12:09:00.000-07:00

A French foreign exchange student named Henri went to America to live with a boy named Sammy. One day Sammy asked Henri if he wanted to play Monopoly. Henri said, "Oui." "Oh, I don't want to play Wii," said Sammy. "How about checkers." "Oui," said Henri. "Fine," said Sammy. "We'll play Wii." As Sammy was setting up the Wii, Henri said, "I don't want to play Wii, I want to play Monopoly or checkers." "Ok," said Sammy. "So you want to play Monopoly or checkers?" "Oui!"

Wolf Knight

2010-10-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Michael's "Spookduckularhalloween" costume contest, Joel constructed the following costume.

Materials list:

-empty milk carton

-cardboard

-strips of old jeans (for scabbard)

-t-shirt

-silver, black, green and yellow duct tape

He probably spent about 4 hours total on this project. The only help mom provided was buying the duct tape and approving the t-shirt.

Questions ...

2010-03-22T16:24:00.000-07:00

(Joel 'camping out' while watching a triathlon.)

"Dad, what makes a yawn?"

"If you pay Anna for babysitting, can you pay me for being the baby?"

"Why did you sign me up for scouts?"

"What makes a burp? ..... Where does the gas come from? ... He won't tell me where the gas comes from."

Duct tape shoes

2010-03-03T13:36:00.000-08:00

You get tin foil and you wrap it around your feet. Then you take some duct tape and wrap it around the tin foil so it will stay. Then once you're done with that, take one long piece of duct tape and a little shorter piece and stick them together. Put the rest of the sticky part of the longer piece on the outside of the tin foil shoe below the ankle around the heel. Get another piece of duct tape to stick this to the other side of the shoe. This is how the shoe stays on.

WARNING!

Do NOT just use regular tape. I did that once and my brother Mark took me to the store. After a few minutes he had to carry me the rest of the way.

Recent quotes

2009-12-21T12:07:00.000-08:00

While passing out presents for the family to open: "Being an elf is tiring."

After mom has told him more than once to stop doing his heelies in the grocery store. "I want Daddy." Oh, do you really miss him? "Well, I'm getting sick of someone."

King of Electricity

2009-10-01T08:42:00.000-07:00

Paper plates. Duct tape. Tin foil. Paper clips. A crown.

"If you have a crown you must be king of something."

"I'm King of Electricity! I control electricity."

Hmmm. Left to his own devices ....

The X-50

2009-06-08T07:53:00.000-07:00

A lot of hammering sounded from the garage, but that wasn't entirely unusual. Joel keeps his tool box and wood scraps out there and periodically creates things. One time as he passed through the house I asked him what he was doing.

"I'm building a go-cart." I smiled at the naive dreams of an 8 year old thinking he could build a go-cart. At least it's keeping him busy!

After several days he announced that he needed wheels. I really hadn't paid much attention to the project and decided to investigate. He HAD created a very simple go-cart ... and he DID need wheels! He showed Daddy that night and they planned to get wheels the next day.

"How did he get the bolt through the board for his turning mechanism," Daddy wanted to know.

"Oh, I just used a screw driver and hammered and then wiggled it around and hammered some more." Daddy helped him use a drill for the wheels, which he did admit goes faster. The finished product did not race down the street as fast as he expected, but we were all VERY impressed. (I guess it should make me nervous when he says he's building a hang glider!)

A Poem by Joel

2009-04-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

Jesus is There

When the sun goes down and day turns to night

You always get a terrible fright,

But when you know that Jesus is there

You never, ever are scared.

Joel's 'Guys'

2009-02-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

(Joel has had his own super heroes for years. I think it started with things he was afraid to do. His imaginary hero, Shark, could do anything. Whatever Joel's oldest brother did, Shark did as a baby. Below are some of his more recent 'guys.' I'm not sure if they are part of Shark's Team, but they are interesting guys!)

Boxer Guy a type of strong monster where he can turn into any strong monster. And he doesn’t want to be their creature form on earth since they’ll freak out people. They have really long teeth like saber tooth teeth. They’re not that big but they’re weird since they can puff up their arms. There’s other strong monsters that can do that.

Nuclear Energy can stretch around, he’s unstoppable, and he can turn invisible. If you punch him it will go right through him. He comes from the planet death. Since one of the superheroes accidently hit it and it touched every single planet, even Krypton and the one Superwoman came from. And the most dangerous one was went through the sun so all the people who came from planet death are indestructible since they survived all the things.

Captain Texan is a guitar player in a band. He has two shields instead of one. He can fly two different ways. If he jumps off a cliff he can spin around and his shields will make him fly. He can jump off a cliff and turn on rocket boots and he’ll fly with his shield’s help. If he’s ever in water he mostly has his two shields on the back and he can press a button where he shields go up so now he can swim.

Tongue Tangler can speak any language and he can sound like anyone. He can also shoot out his tongues. They’re sticky and strong and numb so he can reach things through lava without his tongue being burned. He can also separate his tongues.

Marble, he’s another guitar player. The reason why he is called Marble is because he has 200 and a thousand layers of marbles on him. But he indestructible and he’s super-strong. (Da-da-da-don!) They have two guitar players, Marble and Hornet.

Hornet has four horns, two on the sides, one in the back and one in the front. Hornet’s powers, his horns, can make these lasers. He can use all of them to throw electricity at this giant ball.

Prayer of the day - 1

2009-01-29T11:47:00.000-08:00

Dear God ... Thank you for this day.
...
Thank you that you gave each of us a talent and help us to use it. Help the earth. And help people know about You. In Jesus name, Amen.

8 year old report of the inauguration

2009-01-21T15:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Barack Obama became President of the United States of America. Also yesterday, George W. Bush left. There was a ton of people in the mall, which was not actually a mall; it was a great, long thing of grass. They showed the Presidents that are still alive, and they showed George W. Bush’s daddy. It showed the Vice President who pulled a muscle in his back who was in a wheelchair. We saw the people cheer because they were happy for Barack Obama that he was President.

Barack Obama repeated what a guy said with his hand in the air. He put his other hand on the Lincoln Bible which was very, very old. After he said the oath, they walked to the other side of the Capitol, and they stood there for a very long time being cold while people took pictures. Then George W. Bush and his wife left on a helicopter. And I think they are going to go to Dallas.

When I grow up ...

2009-01-15T18:07:00.000-08:00

These are all a year or two old. I wonder how he'd answer the question today?

"When I grow up, I am not going to get married so I can stay a free man."
Can't you be married and be a free man?
"Well, not that much."

"When I grow up, I am going to be a man that lives in hole. But I will not steal to live in the hole. First I will have a job."

"When I grow up I am going to be a scientist, a superhero and have a safety school. I will do superhero stuff at night, have the safety school in the daytime and do science 'speriments' in the evening."
When will you sleep?
"Maybe I will need a schedule."

(I can't describe how thankful we are to still have someone who thinks being a superhero is a legitimate career option :-)

Tinfoil hat

2009-01-14T09:30:00.000-08:00

"Why do you have a tinfoil hat on? To keep your head warm?"

"No, actually it makes the sun reflect off and cools you off. A satellite may be able to get to my brain from the tinfoil hat and it will tell the satellite my actions and it shows on the TV. Or so I can switch brains with someone."

"Who would you switch brains with?"

"Athena (the dog) because then I would not have to pick up because she does not have opposable thumbs."